As time rolled on, a few fans contacted me privately and insisted. I laughed and said You do it, I'm busy. Another one offered me more money, nothing to sneeze at. I reminded that I never take money, per disclaimers on my fan blogs. They seemed perturbed and left.
Honestly, I'd have been thrilled if even one of them had stuck around to write it with me. I've never understood why I'm the one who is supposed to do this.
But more time has passed. New fans are following me around. I stay way back and don't talk to anyone much any more, and they have no idea who I am and who I was back in the glory days- a nobody in the wrong place at the wrong time and the whole world fandom knew my name and either spat at or ghosted me. It was awesome.
I didn't realize how big of a deal that was until I started personal blogging in public. My personal blogs get more traffic than my Lexx blogs. Come to think of it, my last big brawl on the main forum drew more fans online in one hour than any actor or other fan ever did. Not exactly the legacy a person wants to go down with in fandom history. I can document that now after paying for years and finally rescuing, with help, that forum from the oblivion of time. The stats were still there.
The point I'm making is, not very many people will own that kind of public humiliation and come out listing every flaw they have as part of a public confession. Everything that is wrong with me is out there on public blogs. You know what? We all deal with something. I have nothing to prove or hide. I just very simply love Lexx and spent a few years sharing why.
Despite the mess, I have very fond memories of the fandom back then. I had just missed being part of the fandom eating itself and was so oblivious that I kept triggering some of that back into life. Fandoms do that, I'd been part of the big Sliders meltdown on Onelist. People love taking sides on agendas. That is a sport in every venue. David or Sammy, right? (Van Halen, for the uninitiated.) The fighting never bothered me. I've walked among far worse in real life. I still respect the fans I managed to piss off. I admired their work, I was a noob, and I learned things the hard way.
None of them knew I was so sick it felt like I was dying that whole time. They never saw me spend years recovering from nerve fails and viral attacks on a compromised immune system that even affected my brain. What kept me going, kept me focused, was my love for a TV show, and the compulsion to talk about it.
I'm better now.
And I'm ready to talk about it.
Blogs go backward from books. I'll just start writing blog posts, here is a link to the first one, and at the end of each post you click 'Newer Post' at the end of it to get to the next chapter.
This is a free book. You have my permission to copy it to other sites, please link back to this page.
Notes and disclaimers-
- I am contracted with XLibris for other material unrelated to Lexx.
- I am NOT giving permission for other publishers to publish this free book for profit.
- I am looking into making hardcopy available for this book at cost, in case anyone would like hard copy.
- Since this book is being blogged, minor revisions in font, color, formatting, and text could happen at any time and I am not responsible for updating your copied to other sites versions.
- Permission granted to translate this book into other languages and copy/paste it to other Lexx fansites.
- I'm not affiliated with other sites and fan groups and pages outside of my own excepting for SyfyDesigns, which has full authorization from me to own and display my intellectual property.
How this finally began in private discussion-
A couple fans have told me they'd fund me to write a book about the fandom. I always turn the money down, and I usually joke that someone else can do it, but I've got a title and a few ideas. I'd like to tell the story, the rush of it all, without being proprietary. I'd have to romanticize the fandom into something easier to digest, not a tell-all, not a diary, not a report on what happened. More of a love affair the world had with a television show. The fights can be touched on lightheartedly, focus more on the internet developing around us as Lexx broke through film and marketing barriers. The story of how we were affected and found a sort of rowdy family in each other.